blackmarketmuse

God just brought me to MTV’s website and the newest episode of The Hills, and while I came out the other end technically still intact, I don’t feel as if I will ever be whole. 21 minutes of uninterrupted faux reality chalked full of obviously rehearsed pensive stares and overacted moments of suprise and I feel as though part of my soul has been sold to the dark side.

 I’ll admit it, I’m generally addicted to these kind of shows, shamelessly promising the sort of drama filled life I simultaneously covet and shun. Recently though my fascination has turned to disgust over the joy the characters seem to cultivate from turmoil. This episode found Lauren in a state of utter dismay over her friend (enemy?) Stephanie, dating her ex (fling?) Doug, without first getting her approval. Pretty much the entire 21 minutes was devoted to this dilemma. Who to believe? What to do? Doesn’t really seem that complicated but my guess is that the combination of the scorching California sun beating down on them and all of the chemicals injected, ingested and inhaled into them has caused massive brain function deterioration. The show is nearing the end of the fourth season so I’m pretty sure it has reached total brain cell annihilation. Sporadically throughout the episode the storyline would turn to frozen-faced, watermelon-chested Heidi, but it was the same old stuff. Maybe they stopped writing her new lines when they realized no one really cares about her.

In the new millenium, reality shows are astonishingly popular, so much so that they’ve become almost a new religion. Millions of adolescents bow down to the television screen in worship of their favorite shows and cast members. It’s frightening to think that these people are idols and role models, but it’s not like the “old religion” is doing so hot either. Atheism is as appealing as ever, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. But then again, I haven’t seen the finale of The Hills yet.

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